Individual work with LGBTQI+ students (Reading)

A counsellor can work with LGBTQI+ students on individual sessions, or in group settings. In both cases please keep in mind the following:

for LGBTQI+ students, opening up to anyone poses a great risk, so it is very important to create a safe space where LGBTQI+ students feel welcome and can be open about their problems

„even though LGBT students believed that school counselors would be supportive because of their role, many LGBT students either did not disclose their sexual orientation to their school counselor for fear of being judged or fear that their relationship would be negatively altered in some way. LGBT youth used other cues such as political party affiliation, previous conversations with their counselor, and supportive symbols such as LGBT safe zone stickers to determine if their counselor would be supportive.“ Roe (2013, page 158)

It is an imperative to respect confidentiality.

“Concerns about confidentiality between LGBT students and their school counsellor poses a potential barrier to a supportive relationship with school counsellors. LGBT students expressed confusion about the limits of confidentiality between them and their school counsellors. Specifically, students wondered if information they shared with their school counsellor would be shared with their parents or others.” (Roe 2013, page 158)

listen to the student, have a supportive role, without judgement. In one study in which the supportive role of counsellors was examined,

“Participants mentioned that they were not expecting that support come in the form of complicated interventions, but rather having a school counsellor who would simply listen to their concerns was important.“(Roe, 2013, page 157)

remember that you are maybe the first person that a student is talking to about sexual orientation/gender identity. Respect the trust you were given.
remember that gender identity is different from sexual orientation
help to empower the student, help the student to accept him/her/themselves. Validate the person’s sexual orientation and gender identity or expression.
Be careful with language. Use neutral language. (for example “Are you seeing anyone?” instead of “Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?” Respect the pronoun and name that the person uses.
avoid unintentional microaggressions. ADD REFERENCE TO Please see Module XY for more information on microaggressions. ADD REFRENCE to module 2 – also a part on microagressions
be prepared to give a referral. If there are questions that you can not answer, be prepared to refer them to a more informed counsellor, hot lines, LGBTQI+ organisations etc.
be aware of potential intersecting identities (religious, ethnic, disabilities etc) – see more information in ADD REFRENCE to module 4

One of the important topics that might arise in the counselling process is the question of coming out (please read Module 4 on information regarding the coming out process). Counsellors could help students to explore the risks and benefits of coming out as well as reasons for and against doing it. If a student decides to do it, it would be useful to make a plan.

Berzon (1988, at cited in Molnar, 2018) developed a set of questions that a counsellor can use to support the client in that process:

Who? Who does the client want to come out to and what is their relationship like? Also, the therapist should explore together with his client the possible reactions after coming out and how that might influence the relationship.
What? The therapist should help his client prepare what to say when they come out.
Why? Before coming out, the client should be aware of their motivation and also, they should be prepared to answer different questions regarding being LGBTQI+ that the person to whom they intend to come out might ask.
Where? The therapist should help the client decide where they want to disclose their sexual orientation or gender identity.
When? The client should be supported by the therapist to choose the right moment to disclose, both for themselves and for the person to whom they come out.

If a student needs help regarding who to tell about their sexual orientation / gender identity, the counsellor can facilitate the process of decision-making by discussing the following topics:

choosing the person that a student feels is most supportive
considering the possible reactions of the person
identifying potential problems
identifying benefits of coming out to that person

Barret and Logan (2002, as cited in Molnar, 2018) offer some suggestions regarding coming out to parents for gays and lesbians, which include:

feeling comfortable with being gay or lesbian and being clear about one’s sexual identity before considering coming out;
coming out in an adequate moment for the person to whom the disclosure is taking place. This means avoiding coming out in moments of major stress experienced by the parents, such as health problems, divorce or strong conflicts within the family relationships, work related problems and avoiding to come out during a conflict with the parents;
being prepared to face a wide range of emotions that coming out might bring out in the person to whom the disclosure is being made. Many parents might feel embarrassed, shocked or angry at first, but in time, they can become more supportive and acceptant as they challenge and overcome their own prejudice and stereotypes.
keeping an open and non-violent communication with parents after coming out and giving them time to adjust and understand the situation. It will probably take time, as it is a process for them too.
encouraging parents to meet other gay and lesbian people and to get more information about what it means to have a gay or lesbian identity.

It is also good to keep in mind the following:

do not assume that everyone in school are heterosexual and cisgender (including teachers and other school staff) or that every student that experienced homophobic, biphobic or transphobic bullying is LGBTQI+ (some students might be bullied because other students perceive them as beeing LGBTQI+, but they are not).
do not try to change student’s sexual orientation or gender identity. If a student is confused and not sure about thei sexual orientation, a counsellor should help the student to discover it in a gentle and supporting way (and not by “pushing” them in any direction, especially not in a cis and heteronormative direction)
do not disclose a student’s sexual orientation, gender identity or any other information that the student has shared with you to anyone (parents, colleagues, other school staff…)

Improving the climate at the school (Reading)

There are many things that can be done to make schools more inclusive and safer for LGBTQI+ students. There are many different recommendations that have been tested in various schools and showed good results. Some of the recommendations are:

implementation and enforcement of anti-homo/bi/transphobic bullying and harassment policies.
addressing existing school policies to include more inclusive and non-discriminatory language
implementing a plan for reducing homophobic language at school (education, raising awareness, reaction when it occurs)
advocating for LGBTQI+ topics to really be included in the curriculum
using non-gender specific language
organising various activities (education, workshops, commemorating important dates like IDAHOT for example, exhibitions etc.) where LGBTQI+ topics are discussed in a positive light
helping students to organize a GSA group (gay straight alliance)
creating support services for students, teachers, parents, and administrators including resource materials
providing staff development/education on LGBTQI+ topics for faculty and administration

Remember that this is a slow and continuous process and that you do not have to do everything alone. It is advisable to find other allies in your work environment and establish cooperation with civil society organizations that are active in this field.