Models of emotional support (Reading)

Active listening

Counselling and handling clients on a hotline or online chat is very different than doing it in person. Here you will find examples of chats/calls with different scenarios and using different approaches to the situation. In the first part of the module is the basic knowledge for a call or chat, presenting the key stages and steps in this process. The second part of the module concentrates on more specific types of clients and situations, going deeper into the different models of support, critical situations and types of users.

The chat/hotline operator builds rapport with the LGBTQI+ person/client by listening, reflecting, summarising, showing understanding, support and empathy. The role of the operator is to explore the client’s story by clarifying questions and navigate the current situation through stimulating/provoking the client’s own resources to solve problems or seek solutions.

In order for the operator to be able to provide effective client-oriented emotional support, we will explore an existing model of counselling.

Open questions

Hotline operators should ask questions which give the possibility for a more open answer. The question “Why” should be avoided as it may invoke guilt and sound judgmental. It might lead to the person shutting down emotionally. We explore the emotional state, the current situation and the future prospects by asking “How?” – “What?” – “Where?” – “Who?” The hotline operator does not assume, but seeks to ask and clarify if something is not understood. You should not be judgmental, avoid projecting your own feelings about the situation; this is especially important when working with LGBTQI+ callers.

Examples of open questions:

• How did you experience it [the event or thing that is the current topic]?
• Can you tell me more about that?
• What is that relationship like?
• How was that experience for you?
• How does that feel?
• What are your thoughts about that?

Reflecting

This might sound a bit counterintuitive but paraphrasing or repeating a word or phrase back to the person will not only encourage them to continue talking, but will also give them the feeling that they are listened to. Especially when we talk about a chat line, it is very important for the person to feel heard (in every meaning of the word). So you are reflecting their emotion back to them and you are paraphrasing what they have said.

Example:

Clarify

After reflecting back to the person, the role of the operator is to explore the situation further, to broaden the context. It might be that the person just mentions something and then jumps to another point. Don’t be afraid to ask for clarification. “Correct me if I am wrong, I understood that….” “Can you help me understand more about…?” Do not assume and clarify the situation yourself. You should let the person clarify it for themselves!

Reacting 

Communication in a chat format is giving a space for reacting just like when you are talking to the person on the phone. Demonstrate empathy by acknowledging that you have heard what has been said and repeat back in an empathic manner e.g. use phrases such as ‘it sounds like you have been having a tough time lately’, ‘I’m sorry to hear that…’, ‘from what you have said…’ And ‘I’m here to support you.’ You should make sure that the person feels your commitment to supporting them by saying ‘we all need reassurance sometimes’ and ‘it’s ok to have these feelings’. Tell them that they only need to share what they feel comfortable with. When communicating via chat, always re-read your response before you hit ‘send’. It is useful to ensure no text has been omitted and to double check spelling. Remember, online/hotline support is not therapy. Even if you have a mental health qualification, the task of ‘active listener’ is one of support and not professional expertise.

Summarise

Summarising is a key part of the conversation. It shows that you are actively involved and emotionally engaged. Having the psychological distance will help you to summarise the situation with all the steps that you have undertaken and points that you have touched upon during the conversation. It will make the client feel understood, listened to and appreciated.